The ho-ho-holidays are creeping right up on us. (Yikes!) If you know some people who've been nice this year, treat them to a new shirt, or pair of slippers! Read on, reader, and check out some of our favorite picks, for each and every kind of person you know. Happy shopping!
FOR YOUR FAVORITE TOWNIE: The Don't Hassle Me Tee
This vibrant shirt, originally seen in What About Bob?, is perfect for year-round residents of resort towns, Bill Murray fans, people who prefer large amounts of personal space, and anyone who specifically does not want to be hassled. The large print can be seen from far away, warding off any hasslers before they can get too close.
FOR YOUR FANCIEST FRIEND: The Tuxedo Tee
Perhaps you know someone very fancy whose actual tuxedo is at the cleaners. This Tuxedo Tee makes an excellent backup! It's also appropriate for every-day-tee-shirt wearers who would like to change into a more formal option after six o'clock. Bonus: this printed-on boutonniere will never wilt!
FOR A LOVABLE COUCH POTATO: The Kaoru Betto Baseball Shirt
As seen on The Dude in The Big Lebowski, this tee is perfect for loafers, layabouts, lazyboneses, slackers, sluggards, and sofa spuds. Or anyone who hates the f$%*ing Eagles!
FOR SOMEBODY WITH SWEET DANCE MOVES: The Dance Your Ass Off Shirt
If you know somebody who tears up the dance floor (we're talking the Running Man, the Cabbage Patch, the Sprinkler and the Kid 'n' Play), this shirt will be a big hit!
FOR YOUR FRIEND WHO LOVES QUOTING MONTY PYTHON: Killer Rabbit Slippers
Based on the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (as seen in Monty Python and the Holy Grail), these comfy slippers are a riotously funny gift for your favorite Python-head. (But beware, they will unleash an avalanche of quotes and impressions, perhaps even some re-enactments). They are also a thoughtful and appropriate present for someone who has been searching high and low for the Holy Grail and is feeling tired. Tell them to take a load off, put on their bunny slippers, and try again in 2022! It's gotta be out there somewhere!
FOR YOUR FRIEND WHO GOES TO CROSSFIT: Fu Manchu Tank
Speaking of pythons, if you're shopping for someone who hits the gym hardcore, you know that the only thing they love more than flipping over big tires is showing off their guns! This cleverly-designed tank top features no arm coverings and is therefore perfect for that purpose (and they can channel their inner Jack Burton, as seen in Big Trouble in Little China).
FOR X-RAY TECHNICIANS: The Green Skeleton Shirt
Show the X-Ray Technician in your life how much you care with this touching gift. Anatomically accurate and vibrantly green, it might even bring a tear to their eye (which would not be visible in an X-Ray, you'll have to just take our word for it). It's slso appropriate for aging rock stars (as seen on Nigel Tufnel in Spinal Tap).