Stiles’ Top Ten Lines from Teen Wolf

Loyal readers of It Goes to 11 know that we heart 1985’s Teen Wolf here at FIC. The implausible story, the inspired comedic performances, the side-splitting dialogue, the feel-good conclusion — this fine flick has it all in spades.

Michael J. Fox is certainly the star of the film, but in many ways Jerry Levine’s Stiles character (pictured below) steals the show with his self-assured preening, cocky chutzpah, entrepreneurial spirit, and rich, fantastically colored wardrobe. (Shameless reminder: we sell two of his attention-grabbing tees here and here.) For a more in-depth discussion of Stiles’ cultural significance, I urge you to read this informative, expertly deconstructed piece of film criticism that I stumbled across while researching this post.

Stiles - Peterbuilt

In any case, I’ve compiled a list of Stiles’ best, most memorable lines. Enjoy!

10. “Are you gonna tell me you’re a fag?”

9. “Surf’s up…”

8. “That’s my middle name.”

7. “What’s it like coming out of the closet?”

6. “You looking to catch something?”

5. “What can I say — you’re beautiful.”

4. “I heard Mr. Johnson from shop class got his dick stuck in a vacuum cleaner.”

3. “Hey baby, nice hair cut. Be all you can be…how was Grenada?”

2. “So, what can a teen wolf do?”

1. “Can you do that anytime you want?”

Honorable mentions: “All sizes, no waiting!” and “How do you think he feels? He feels like a WINNER!”

Life Sucks and Then You Die


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