Megaplex: 80 minutes of ’80s Awesomeness from Smash TV

crazy 80 minute supercut
Over one and a half years in the making, Megaplex, a super supercut, is almost beyond description. Jam-packing thousands of snippets from almost 100 movies, paired with an incredibly timed soundtrack, the entertainment factor is completely off the charts.

Coined a double-feature by the creators, Turbo (or Side A, the first half of the supercut) will have you jonesing for those late nights during a sleepover when you and your friends would binge on Jolt cola and watch whatever crazy movies channel 3 had on from 10pm to 6am. Cuts from long-forgotten kung fu, action, anime, fighting movie favorites… they’re all here, in rapid fire succession.

After a brief intermission dubbed Coming Attractions (which covers different vignettes exploring various themes and genres), Beyond (aka Side B) begins. A cacophony of spasm-inducing lights, colors, and sounds, Side B pieces together at a machine gun clip, “choice cuts from a strange time in the horror, sci-fi, and fantasy genres…” Sometimes epileptic seizure inducing, sometimes freaky and/or gory, the imagery flashes by relentlessly while the music seems almost tailor-made.

Guest Post: Dr. Jose’s Favorite ’80s Tees Part 2

A big thanks to our friend Dr. Jose for penning this guest post, a follow-up to his original article about ’80s movie tees! His incredible homage to cult film can be found at cameraviscera.com.


*Ominous, uplifting music cues over black screen — think Brad Fiedel’s Terminator 2 score*

“…Just when the world had lost all hope…”

*Fade in: Explosions; burning cities; fleeing, screaming masses of people*

“…in ever reading another piece about iconic and obscure t-shirts from ’80s movies…”

*Machine gun sounds effects; shattering glass; culminating in big block letters smashing into the screen*

“…He’s back.”

*Pan up to me, wearing cool t-shirt. One foot resting on the bumper of a rusted, burnt out hull of a car. Trusty dog by my side*

“Dr. Jose’s Favorite ’80s Tees… Part 2. Playing now at a blog near you!”

Yes, it’s true, I am back to talk about more of my favorite ’80s t-shirts. Forgive the long, excessive (and quite frankly, expensive) intro. But y’see, I had to take advantage: it is as close as I’ll ever come to having a real-life badass opening like that. Plus — and perhaps, most importantly — this article is a sequel! Like all sequels, it has to be bigger, badder, and more overblown than the first one. And if it fails at succeeding the original article’s awesome list of ’80s tees, well, we’ll always have that killer intro, now won’t we?

So without further ado, here are more of my favorite ’80s t-shirts!

billy1

Big‘s Billy Kopecki had a lot on his plate for only being 12. A family that ignored him, a best friend that mysteriously transformed into a 30-year-old overnight. It couldn’t have been easy for ol’ Billy. But no matter how much he had on his mind, he didn’t let it get in the way of his killer style. He wears a lot of horror movie t-shirts throughout the movie – which is undeniably cool – but my personal fave is this Gumbo shirt he wears during one brief scene. A mash-up between Gumby and Rambo, it’s the type of bootleg gem you’d snag at a state fair or boardwalk arcade. I’d kill to have this thing!

chain1

Oh boy. I really can’t say enough about Summer School and its resident gorehound, Francis “Chainsaw” Gremp. I related so much to this character growing up, and still do today. The love of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, the obsession with bloody special effects, the bedroom covered in pages torn from Fangoria Magazine. No kidding, the man is truly my spirit animal. He even shares my love of quirky t-shirts! Above, he’s rocking something you might pick up in the Florida Panhandle during Spring Break: an image of an alligator decked out in a Hawaiian shirt, lounging and sipping one a-them drinks with the umbrella in it, above the words “party time”. But that’s not all!

eat

Later in the movie we see Chainsaw in a shirt that says “Eat the Rich”. Now, this same-messaged t-shirt would pop in Adventures in Babysitting, which happened to be released the same year as Summer School. Also released in 1987? Motorhead’s album Rock ‘n’ Roll, which featured the single – you guessed it – “Eat the Rich”. Coincidence? I think not!

judy

As Larry Storch (impersonating Cary Grant) once said: Judy, Judy Judy! As silly and simple of an idea as it is, everything about the shirt is strangely iconic, a fabric snapshot that forever preserves the fashion sense of a camper in 1983. Moreover, it’s the perfect outfit to sum up Sleepaway Camp‘s Judy character: a loud, brash brat who wants all eyes on her. Full disclosure: I once made a shirt with my name on it when I was a teenager. I went to the grocery store with my mom and immediately had a stranger shout my name. I’d forgotten I was wearing the shirt and had no idea how the person knew me. Safe to say, it was the last time this loud, brash brat wore that shirt.

These next few shirts – as far as I’m aware – weren’t made specifically for the movies they appear in. That is to say, the images they feature already belonged to long-existing properties. I’m not claiming the previous shirts were made for their respective movies, either – but they were ambiguous enough to seem as such. The following tees, however, feature recognizable (and copyrighted) images.

morganstewart

I haven’t seen Morgan Stewart’s Coming Home is many, many years – and I’ve not read many positive reviews of it since – but I remember liking it as a kid. It was like a poor man’s version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, which was just fine to little me – and it was one of those movies that always seemed to be on HBO. One of the main reasons I liked it was because Morgan, like the aforementioned Chainsaw Gremp, was an unabashed gorehound who lived in a world of latex monster masks, splatter magazines, and horror t-shirts – like the one seen above! The simple design, the great color combination, the snug fit: the perfect shirt.

terminator

In 1984, single adults (who lived with a roommate who also happened to be their co-worker at the local diner) could lounge around after a shower in an oversized t-shirt with rolled up sleeves which featured children’s cartoon characters – and it wasn’t weird at all. People who don’t understand what made the ’80s so great needn’t look further than this screenshot to help them understand why it was one of the best decades ever. Sure, nowadays 30-something adults can hang out in t-shirts featuring The Rugrats or Ren & Stimpy and no one bats an eyelash – but that’s because nothing is cool or strange or impressive anymore. In 2016, where everything is commonplace and ubiquitous and unimpressive. The nerds are also jocks, and anyone can be a punk. But I digress. Linda Hamilton in Terminator looks downright quaint wearing a shirt featuring The Flintstones – something worn for comfort due to its age versus any sort of hip fashion statement.

sayanything

And finally, we have John Cusack in Say Anything… (Kinda looks like he’s talking to Linda Hamilton up there, doesn’t it?) With his role as the sweet and earnest Lloyd Dobler, Cusack secured his teen heart throb status – especially amongst those who preferred their good guys painfully realistic. But it’s safe to say without exaggeration that Lloyd literally wouldn’t have been able to do it without his favorite Clash tee, as he wears it in almost every scene. After working out (seen above), while laying on his bed talking on the phone, while kicking the broken glass from Diane’s path as he walks her home, and yes – even during the most memorable scene in teen romance history, with his arms outstretched above his head, boombox gripped by his hands, Peter Gabriel blasting from the speakers – Lloyd was clad in his Clash shirt. Combined with the baggy sweatpants and tan trenchcoat, it’s an iconic teen uniform if there ever was one – and a really easy Halloween costume to boot.

Well, that’s all for now, mutants. Between this article and the last one, I’ve talked about almost 30 of my favorite ’80s movie t-shirts. But there are plenty more out there to be spotted, appreciated, and taken note of. What are some of your faves and which ones am I missing?

Best Or Worst Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas – You Decide

Romance comes in so many flavors, why stop at chocolate and flowers? Giving an unconventional gift is a great idea; they’re typically not something that can be purchased the day of Valentine’s. This shows your special someone you’re thinking of them deeply and creatively. Shop cautiously however as it’s easy to overstep a boundary! Much like deciding to share a fetish, you’ll want to choose the appropriateness when giving a Valentine’s gift that isn’t traditional… but done right, there’s no better feeling! Here’s our collection of what could be the best – or worst – Valentine’s Day gift ideas for that Significant Other who might prefer something a little less quintessential and a little more Quasimodo.


Kama Sutra cookies


Valentines Day Kama Sutra Cookies

Give oral pleasure in the form of cookies! Your person of interest will love these tasty treats. A girthy 2″ to 3-1/2″ these cookies are just waiting for someone to munch down on them.


Hair of the Dog Whiskey Soap


hair-of-the-dog-whiskey-soap

Just drop-dead sexy, probably the only thing better than whiskey and coffee soap would be an actual whiskey and coffee. Either would be awesome in the shower, with your partner(s) of course!


Fresh Balls


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This is one of those gift ideas that straddles the line: will your man think he needs some “help” down there, or will he love it because it makes his manly bits smell good and keeps them dry all day? Whichever direction you think he’ll go, there’s no arguing that a cool, dry crotch makes for a happy partner.


Ring Mug


ring-mug

On the morning of the 14th, get down on one knee and present this mug. No really, do it. Just be sure to wear a cup.


Bacon Bra


bacon-bra

Tell the woman in your life that you have one thing on your mind this Valentine’s: bacon and her boobies. Hopefully she’ll think that they’re not in that order, but your secret is safe with us.

Nothing

So edgy! Be a true non-conformist, or maybe it’s just ’cause you’re alone.


“Romantic” Toilet Paper


romantic-toilet-paper

Personally we would have gone with “I Love You From Front To Back” but whatever. Tell your loved one that you think they’re the shit with this Valentine’s Day gift. They don’t mention if single or double ply, so head’s up.


Gun Soap


gun-soap-handgun

We have to admit that we’re curious about the thought-process that generated this gift item. Conveniently shaped to clean all those hard-to-reach places, Gun Soap is sure to tickle the fancy of your favorite gun nut’s nuts.


Candy Nipple Tassels


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These would also work well for men!

Reverend Tre’s Cult Film Revival: Saddentine’s Day

carl-all-alone
Yeah yeah, Valentine’s Day is for lovers and significant others and all that jazz. What about the rest of us… those of us with unrequited love or a giant black lump of coal for a heart because of a bad breakup? Perhaps your sense of humanity was shredded due to heartbreak. Whatever the reason, between you and me, Valentine’s Day is a day for suckers (not the lusty kind, you dirty-minded hound dog). Love is for the birds, for the weak-kneed, for the starry eyed wishful thinkers. Besides, having your heart ripped out is good for you. It teaches self-sufficiency and makes you okay with being alone. It also teaches us humanity and empathy, once the pain fades… even if just a little bit.

All this romantic pain and suffering got me to thinking: what’s some of the worst, most horrible cinematic examples of heartbreak that’s out there? Scenes that are just waiting to be watched and embraced like ice cold water poured on an exposed tummy. Let’s watch and be moved to tears on this darkest of holidays.

Grave of the Fireflies

From famed animation powerhouse Studio Ghibli, Grave of the Fireflies is a war story involving two young people trying to survive post-WW2 Japan. To say the movie is heart-wrenching is putting it mildly. I cannot watch it again.

Lost in Translation

Simply put, Lost in Translation is about love that could have been. Despite the ridiculous age difference between Johansson and Murray, you do end up with this pit in your stomach because we’ve all been there.

A Love Story

A slow burn, A Love Story is the quintessential sad tale of boy meets girl, love blossoms, girl dies. Oh and this movie is the source for that insipid quote, “love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

My Girl

Watch Macaulay Culkin die from bees. Get your hankies handy, this one is A++ brutal. Not for the faint of heart

Up

Up isn’t best known for its animation style or its story; it’s known for its 4 minute intro that ruined moviegoers. People didn’t have a heads up! They came in to watch a fun Pixar flick and ended up with tears streaming down their faces and snot running from their noses. Just a brutal way to start a film: left hook your audience with an iron fist.

The Notebook

Another slow burn, The Notebook takes us on an emotional rollercoaster culminating with realization that none of us are ever going to know the love that they felt.

Mine

Not a movie but a documentary, Mine is almost unwatchable if you love dogs. What keeps you going are the happy scenes when the pets are reunited.

Reverend Tre’s Cult Film Revival: Xmas Gifts

SantaAxeHorror

With Christmas right around the corner I wanted to take a few minutes and link to some fun gifts for the cult film fan. There’s still time to order a lot of this stuff, and a few of the gifts are from small shops or owner/operators. Maybe if what you see doesn’t immediately strike a chord, then you can riff off the idea and see if there’s something else they have available. Spreading Christmas cheer like Crisco on toast.


Freddy Kruger Door Hangar

FreddyKruegerDoorHanger

Nothing says “Merry Christmas!” like a demonic door hangar. Inspired by a Nightmare on Elm St, you might just attract Satan rather than Santa. That was a weak pun but I’m sticking with it.


Cthulhu Slippers

cthulhu slippers will eat your feet

The Deep One shall devour your feet! And keep them warm during the cold frigid winter. Includes dangling tentacles, claws, red demonic eyes, and a green-on-green colorblock.


Stephen King Lapel Pin

StephenKingPin

From our friends at Camera Viscera comes this kick-ass pin that any horror fan would love to display.


Pulp Fiction Bad Mofo Wallet

PulpFictionWallet

Jules Winnfield’s iconic wallet can be yours. Handmade from genuine leather!


The Thing Blood Test Tree Ornament

ThingBloodTest

One of the creepiest scenes in movie history can now be hanging blissfully off your tree. Act fast if you want this by Christmas.


VHS Is Happiness Tshirt

VHSisHappinessTshirt

Everyone knows the best way to watch a movie is on a 4:3 aspect TV playing a barely tracking VHS tape.


Labyrinth Booty Panties

LabyrinthDavidBowieUndies

Jareth would buy these for Sarah. Just saying. Also act fast if you want these in time for Christmas.


Texas Chain Saw Massacre: 40th Anniversary Black Maria

TexasChainsawMassacreGiftBox

Featuring “the only transfer of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre to go back to the original 16mm A/B rolls, the actual film that rolled through the cameras”… and a cardboard Black Maria semi-truck. Hell yeah.


Inigo Montoya Tshirt

Inspired by the timeless Princess Bride, give Inigo this holiday season and let the recipient know they should prepare to die.


Office Space Special Edition DVD w/ Stapler & Flair

OfficeSpaceGiftBox

Some good used ones are available on Amazon. Includes a red stapler (you just read that in his voice, didn’t you) and flair!


They Live “Obey” Tshirt

“Don’t be their cattle, be a collaborator in this They Live: Obey t-shirt!”


Complete Leprechaun “Pot of Gore” Collection”

LeprechaunPotOfGore

Includes all six movies!


Troll 2 Goblin/Nilbog Tshirt

Troll2Tshirt-1Troll2Tshirt-2

Arguably the most obvious name ever, Nilbog is sure to delight your Troll fan.


Ganderlumps Post Card Set

GanderlumpsPostCardSet

These make great stocking stuffers!

Tomorrow Will Be Too Late!

Cyber Monday is here and we have the hot deals for you! This is the best time to cross off some names from your Christmas shopping list, or maybe fill some gaps in that wardrobe. These coupon codes expire tonight at midnight however, so act fast: popular prints often sell out quickly. If some inspiration would be helpful, use our 2015 Holiday Gift Guide as fuel for that imagination.