Heart Attack: 50 T-Shirts For Valentines Day (Updated!)

It’s Valentine’s Day. Again.

This year, skip the obvious baubles — chocolates, flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, tchotchkes, et al. — and give that special someone what they really want need: a t-shirt that proclaims your undying affection for the whole world wide webz to see (and gawk about).

Along these lines, we present 25 27 28 50 51 55 designs — most thematically appropriate, others woefully off-message — to put you, and your partner(s), in a romantic state of bliss.

Said shirts, mind you, are drawn from a wide assortment of sources (read: the Internet) and are ranked in no particular order, because honestly, we love all of them — and you — equally. Click on the pics to link through…

1. Roses are red…


Via: Young Lovers, a new-ish imprint with a focus on high-quality, limited edition releases.

2. Sharing is caring.


i heart polygamy t shirt

Previously available at Busted Tees.

3. Have your (cup)cake and eat it too.

 johnny cupcakes t shirt

4. Two great tastes that go great together.


Once more, with feeling:


milk cookie i love you tee shirt


5. Cracking the code, with love.

you are the css to my html tee shirt


Cap tip: ATShirtBlog

6. The popularity of bacon, both the delicacy and the Internet meme, shows no signs of abating and why would it? Even vegetarians love it!

7. All for love, love for all.


8. Along the same lines, let us present this new design from Headline Shirtsthat repurposes hacks an iconic image to clever effect.

victory day kiss tee shirt


Compare with the source material.

9. The verbal expression of love can leave many at a loss, even tongue-tied (pun totally intended, boo yah!). If so, tell them how much you care with a personalized note. It’s perfect for any [insert your own pithy descrip here].

love you more than blank shirt

10. Chris Knight: “So, if there’s anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.”
Susan: “Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?”
Chris Knight: “Not right now.”
Susan: “A girl’s gotta have her standards…”

i heart toxic waste shirt

As seen in the greatest 80’s film of them all, Real Genius. This I Love Toxic Waste T-Shirt is the ultimate fashion statement. 

You must watch this. It’s a moral imperative:

11. Love is for the birds.

love is for the birds shirt

12. From the house of the mouse.

mickey minnie mouse kissing shirt


Courtesy of our friends over at Mighty Fine, an L.A.-based firm that marries pop culture tropes with impeccable production values.

Building a better mouse trap:

mickie and minnie sex porn spoof shirt

An unsanctioned spoof (one imagines…), unearthed over at .

13. Tempted by the fruit of another…

dump her take me shirt

Kudos to Fail Shirt, an archive of the world’s worst tee shirts.

14. Love? There’s a shirt for that.

heart slide to unlock cellphone shirt

15. Caveat emptor!

you break you buy valentines day shirt

16. Put the love between your legs…

velo love spoof bike shirt

An obvious parody; compare with the inspiration here.

17. Think outside the box.

vagina is for lovers valentine shirt

18. French, as everyone knows, is the official language of love. To wit, this gem of a slogan, which translates to “You Are Here.” The placement of the print is very much spot-on. Clever monkeys…

tu es ici heart shirt

19. One’s thirst for love can never be quenched. Now, as for the suds…

 will work for beer shirt

20. I’d rather kiss a Wookie.

star wars valentines day love

On a related note.

21. The couple that slays together, stays together.night of the creep shirt

Available from Fright Rags, the web’s premiere destination for horror-related tee merch.

22. Sexually suggestive phonetic puns FTW!

have a heart on valentines day shirt

23. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.

ramonas number shirt

On an aside, it’s a real shame that Scott Pilgrim didn’t quite find as big an audience as expected. It was a sweet, poignant and spot-on depiction of young love (and the emotional pitfalls that come with).

Go watch it already!

24. I stole my sister’s boyfriend Valentine. It was all whirlwind, heat, and flash. Within a week we killed my parents and hit the road…

sonic youth cover art shirt

25. Love, minimalized.

love abstract letter shirt

26. It’s good to know one’s limits.

Tropic Thunder On the First Date Shirt

27. Where are your pants, girl?

legends of zelda hearts life tee

28. I want olive of you inside me.

Olive you shirt

29. Heart overload.

heart overload shirt

30. My favorite 2012 addition to this list.


pair bonded shirt

''If it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.'' -- J. Steinbeck

Available at the wonderfully clever Think Geek.

31. Love is a battlefield.

cat atat loves you

Cap tip: Shirtoid

32. On a related note, we all know how much boys love their toys…

love star red bubble

33. Geek love.

love bytes shirt

34. Something equally delicious, only with a bacon-flavored twist.

love at first bite shirt

35. Don’t play with my hearts.

love is a game shirt

36. Rendered in the classic Kiss font, no less. XOXO, bitches.

hugs and kisses shirt

37. You dropped a bomb on me, baby…

heart grenade shirt

Cap tip: Rumplo

38. Tread carefully, here, Romeo. You only get one chance at this…

do you like me shirt

Cap tip: Rumplo

39. Don’t stand, don’t stand so/Don’t stand so close to me…

cactus balloon shirt

40. Love is a state of mind.


missouri loves company

41. For some, love is nothing more than a(n 8-bit) pipe dream.

 super mario pipe love shirt

Cap tip: Shirtoid

42. Reanimate your love life.

zombie needs love shirt

Cap tip: Shirtoid

43. Mating rituals come and go, but the sentiment, well that’s forever.

 i love the 1880s shirt

Cap tip: Shirtoid

An obvious nod to the precocious clip embedded below:

44. Break records, not hearts.

love vinyl record shop

Cap tip: Rumplo

45. Love makes for the occasional awkward moment.

unfaithful coffee cup

Cap tip: Shirtoid

46. Love in the digital age.

you love this shirt

Cap tip: Hide Your Arms

47. Or not.

i like you but I don't like shirt

Cap tip: Shirtoid

48. Love, from A to Z.

love by the letter shirt

49. Technosexuals.

wall e eve pixals shirt

Cap tip: Shirtoid

50. Shot through the heart…

shot through the heart shirt

51. A dissenting view of things.

 eros is a rotten shot shirt

52. Treading on a similar motif, this Skyrim-themed print gets to the point.

i used to be a player shirt

53. Numbers never lie.

plotting your heart shirt

Cap tip: Shirtoid

54. A bonus entry, this one with an awesomely ridiculous interactive quality.

hugging distance heart shirts

In practice:

8 bit dynamite life heart shirts

Cap tip: 

What? You’re still reading this? Feel free to link related designs in the comments below…


No list would be complete without at least one anti-Valentine’s Day example…

55. Bitter, oh so bitter. And with good fucking reason.

love is lame shirt

Pair with this guy for added effect:

shit bitch you is fine teddy bear

One last topical tune:

Show your feelings about Valentine’s Day for yourself, with a romantic-casual tux t-shirt, or the more cynical No Ma'am shirt. And for those cutting straight to the chase, your sentiments may be best expressed on our Give Me Head Till I’m Dead shirt.

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