Heart Attack: 50 T-Shirts For Valentine’s Day (Updated!)

It’s Valentine’s Day. Again.

This year, skip the obvious baubles — chocolates, flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, tchotchkes, et al. — and give that special someone what they really want need: a t-shirt that proclaims your undying affection for the whole world wide webz to see (and gawk about).

Along these lines, we present 25 27 28 50 51 55 designs — most thematically appropriate, others woefully off-message — to put you, and your partner(s), in a romantic state of bliss.

Said shirts, mind you, are drawn from a wide assortment of sources (read: the Internet) and are ranked in no particular order, because honestly, we love all of them — and you — equally. Click on the pics to link through…

1. Roses are red…

Via: Young Lovers, a new-ish imprint with a focus on high-quality, limited edition releases.

2. Sharing is caring.

Previously available at Busted Tees.

3. Have your (cup)cake and eat it too.

4. Two great tastes that go great together.

Once more, with feeling:

5. Cracking the code, with love.

Cap tip: ATShirtBlog

6. The popularity of bacon, both the delicacy and the Internet meme, shows no signs of abating and why would it? Even vegetarians love it!

7. All for love, love for all.

8. Along the same lines, let us present this new design from Headline Shirts that repurposes hacks an iconic image to clever effect.

Compare with the source material.

9. The verbal expression of love can leave many at a loss, even tongue-tied (pun totally intended, boo yah!). If so, tell them how much you care with a personalized note. It’s perfect for any [insert your own pithy descrip here].

10. Chris Knight: “So, if there’s anything I can do for you, or, more to the point, to you, you just let me know.”
Susan: “Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?”
Chris Knight: “Not right now.”
Susan: “A girl’s gotta have her standards…”

As seen in the greatest 80’s film of them all, Real Genius.

You must watch this. It’s a moral imperative:

11. Love is for the birds.

12. From the house of the mouse.

Courtesy of our friends over at Mighty Fine, an L.A.-based firm that marries pop culture tropes with impeccable production values.

Building a better mouse trap:

An unsanctioned spoof (one imagines…), unearthed over at Love and T-Shirts.

13. Tempted by the fruit of another…

Kudos to Fail Shirt, an archive of the world’s worst tee shirts.

14. Love? There’s a shirt for that.

15. Caveat emptor!

As with entry #12 B, this was spotted at Love and T-Shirts.

16. Put the love between your legs…

An obvious parody; compare with the inspiration here.

17. Think outside the box.

18. French, as everyone knows, is the official language of love. To wit, this gem of a slogan, which translates to “You Are Here.” The placement of the print is very much spot-on. Clever monkeys…

19. One’s thirst for love can never be quenched. Now, as for the suds…

20. I’d rather kiss a Wookie.

On a related note.

21. The couple that slays together, stays together.

Available from Fright Rags, the web’s premiere destination for horror-related tee merch.

22. Sexually suggestive phonetic puns FTW!

23. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game.

On an aside, it’s a real shame that Scott Pilgrim didn’t quite find as big an audience as expected. It was a sweet, poignant and spot-on depiction of young love (and the emotional pitfalls that come with).

Go watch it already!

24. I stole my sister’s boyfriend Valentine. It was all whirlwind, heat, and flash. Within a week we killed my parents and hit the road…

25. Love, minimalized.

26. It’s good to know one’s limits.

27. Where are your pants, girl?

28. I want olive of you inside me.

29. Heart overload.

30. My favorite 2012 addition to this list.

''If it is right, it happens — the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.'' -- J. Steinbeck

Available at the wonderfully clever Think Geek.

31. Love is a battlefield.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

32. On a related note, we all know how much boys love their toys…

33. Geek love.

34. Something equally delicious, only with a bacon-flavored twist.

35. Don’t play with my hearts.

36. Rendered in the classic Kiss font, no less. XOXO, bitches.

37. You dropped a bomb on me, baby…

Cap tip: Rumplo

38. Tread carefully, here, Romeo. You only get one chance at this…

Cap tip: Rumplo

39. Don’t stand, don’t stand so/Don’t stand so close to me…

40. Love is a state of mind.

41. For some, love is nothing more than a(n 8-bit) pipe dream.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

42. Reanimate your love life.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

43. Mating rituals come and go, but the sentiment, well that’s forever.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

An obvious nod to the precocious clip embedded below:

44. Break records, not hearts.

Cap tip: Rumplo

45. Love makes for the occasional awkward moment.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

46. Love in the digital age.

Cap tip: Hide Your Arms

47. Or not.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

48. Love, from A to Z.

49. Technosexuals.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

50. Shot through the heart…

51. A dissenting view of things.

52. Treading on a similar motif, this Skyrim-themed print gets to the point.

53. Numbers never lie.

Cap tip: Shirtoid

54. A bonus entry, this one with an awesomely ridiculous interactive quality.

In practice:

Cap tip: Coty Gonzales

What? You’re still reading this? Feel free to link related designs in the comments below…


No list would be complete without at least one anti-Valentine’s Day example…

55. Bitter, oh so bitter. And with good fucking reason.

Pair with this guy for added effect:

One last topical tune:

Show your feelings about Valentine’s Day for yourself, with a romantic-casual tux t-shirt, or the more cynical No Ma’am shirt. And for those cutting straight to the chase, your sentiments may be best expressed on our Give Me Head Till I’m Dead shirt.

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Why Waltz When You Can Rock & Roll: travis [at] founditemclothing.com