For the Near Future, I Am the Biggest Orlando Magic Fan Ever: 5, Nay 8, Shirts for Laker Haters

Author’s note: In light of renewed interest in this piece as a result of the 2010 NBA Finals, I’ve cleaned up the copy, added fresh links and listed new designs at the end. Swish!

In a matter of minutes now, the NBA Finals will commence when the upstart Orlando Magic battle the vaunted Los Angeles Lakers for supremacy of the basketball universe. Though I lost most (read: all) interest in the playoffs after the Boston Celtics were unceremoniously eliminated by the aforementioned Magic in a pivotal, winner-take-all Game 7 (at home no less), I’m rooting for those same Floridians because I despise the Lake Show (always have, natch), and, by extension, their best player, Kobe the Penetrator. Oh Lakers, how do I hate thee? Let’s count the multitude of ways: those garish yellow-and-purple uniforms; the celebrity factor and the supposed glamour that surrounds the squad; the villainous Kurt Rambis (no longer employed by the team, it should be noted); the whining crybaby known as Sasha Vujacic; their smarmy coach, Phil Jackson; their intertwined history with my beloved C’s (The Lakers possess 14 15 NBA Championships, which is nice, but still pales behind Boston’s splendid 17); etc. And, I suspect, that outside of Southern California, I am not alone in thinking as much. To this end, here are 5 8 tee shirts for Laker Haters reading this.

P.S. Click on the images to open links.

5. I like to use a little profanity on the microphone, but rarely on t-shirts. That said, this shirt captures my current sentiments perfectly. I really appreciate how this design speaks to the team-vs.-individual subtext, juxtaposing Bryant’s name with the team’s iconic logo. Currently on sale!

4. Riffing on similar territory, this shirt also re-imagines the Lakers’ logo.

3. If the Magic are going to prevail, they need a huge series from their top player, Dwight Howard. At 6′ 11″ and 265 lbs., Howard is something of a physical freak. He has the size and power to bang inside, but he also has the skill set to rebound, dribble, pass, run and defend with smaller, more fluid players. Howard fancies himself something like Superman, a motif stage persona he reinforced with a dramatic and show-stopping win in the Slam Dunk contest two seasons ago.

The NBA has actually commissioned this licensed tee that features the classic Superman logo on front with Howard’s name and number on the back (not shown).

2. A green Lakers’ shirt? Oy vey.

1. This is the original Laker Hater shirt. Accept no imitations.

Once more, with feeling:

Know your roots, yo:

Walking A Fine Line:

OVERTIME with a 3-point play:

C. The problem with spoofs like this is two-fold: 1. It’s yellow. 2. It’s gold. Regardless of the slogan, you’re still sporting the colors of the enemy.

B. Better!

A. In 6!

Swag for the lucky ticket holders:

Here’s an “official” Finals shirt I found on Nothing fancy here, but it gets the job done.

UPDATED for 2010:

Postscript: The Lakers stomped the Magic in Game 1, 100-75.

Magic in 6 7:

The view from the other side:

Likewise, one more bone for Laker fans…

Like our tees? Follow us on Facebook! And Twitter!

Kevin & Paul & Ray & Rajon & Kendrick:

4 thoughts on “For the Near Future, I Am the Biggest Orlando Magic Fan Ever: 5, Nay 8, Shirts for Laker Haters

  1. Pingback: Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due (However Reluctantly): 2009 Lakers’ Championship Tee

  2. Sarah

    Growing up in Portland, Ore., there was only one sports team that my family followed with religious zeal: the Portland Trailblazers.

    Suffice it to say, I’m one of the most heartfelt Laker Haters on the planet.

  3. Pingback: Weekly Recap and Linkology | June 18, 2010 | Coty Gonzales | T-Shirt Reviews, Interviews and Coupon Codes

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