Sadly, you’ve seen it before: the young, sultry, Hollywood actress, positioned on the threshold of untold celebrity and riches, risks it all by dating a washed-up has-been old enough to be her father (almost). What, we can only ponder, was she thinking? (Answer: she wasn’t.) And, conversely, how did HE pull that off? (Answer: trinkets, baubles, and stupid fresh dance moves.)

The latest pin-up to fall prey to this trap is 22-year old Megan Fox, who starred opposite Shia LaBeouf (LaBOOF!) in last summer’s live-action Transformers flick (true to the property, but a tad tiresome, btw). Fox, a former model that parlayed her good looks — the discriminating body snobs over at FHM magazine selected her as 2008’s “Sexiest Woman in the World” — into bit roles on television before landing her big robo-movie break, is, according to media accounts, engaged to none other than Brian Austin Green, a d-list footnote that achieved a modest level of notoriety in the early ’90s for his role as David on the original production of Beverly Hills, 90210.

An embarrassing reminder, for those that need it.

When that show ground to a mercifully end, Green disappeared from the spotlight, never to be heard from again. Or, so it was thought. In 2007, he emerged from whatever cave he was hiding in and scored a choice, recurring role on The Sarah Connor Chronicles, a Terminator-themed, made-for-TV spin-off that has garnered mostly favorable, if somewhat lukewarm, reviews, all of which made news of the pair’s relationship even more confounding.

Given that the age gap is more than 10 years, one wonders if the duo will even make it to the altar; on the other hand, they look quite happy together in this clip I found on Youtube. Spoiler alert: video contains stomach-turning PDA’s.

Regardless of how or why this tragedy came to pass, there’s no doubt that Fox looks stunning in a tight, form-fitting tee. Take the fine examples below, purloined from the Web for your perusal.

Nothing makes a geek hornier than a hottie in vintage Star Wars apparel, although, this particular shirt, it should be noted, looks like one of the Junk Food reproductions that are so popular these days.

This pic definitely speaks to Megan’s “edgier” look. Between the ratty, aged rock tee, the tats on her arms and wrists, and the double, devil’s horn hand gestures, she looks like she’s ready to jump onto the stage at Ozzfest or onto the back of some dude’s motorcycle. More than meets the eye, indeed.

So, in conclusion, Ms. Fox knows how to pick her tees; as for men…

T-shirts are a great vehicle by which to let people know just where you stand (on, say, a divisive hot-button issue). To this end, check out the fine examples pictured below, both created by a cadre of prison guards from rural Illinois in response to the proposed closure of their economic livelihood, the historic Pontiac Correctional Center. Apparently, the Big City Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, is locked in a very public squabble with the Small Town Mayor of Pontiac, Scott McCoy, the messy contours of which are delineated here in this informative NYT piece. As the community’s second largest employer, the prison assumes an outsized significance in local affairs and any attempt to change that has and will be met, naturally enough, with resistance and, in a strange, ironic twist, reverse N.I.M.B.Y.-ism.

Spotted at the big rally:

A second version for good measure:

Granted, they’re not much from a design perspective, but their creation seems distinctly American (not that there’s any problem with that, natch) and the message is, if nothing else, completely and utterly original. For what it’s worth, I prefer the fatter, thicker font on the second tee. It’s just a bit bolder, which is important when you want to convey the gravity of the situation. Anyways, I’m not much for prisons — or the questionable economics (or politics, for that matter) of incarceration — but I’ll give credit where credit is due; these guys have hit on a time-tested, winning strategy.

No word yet on whether Blagojevich (love that name, btw) has authored a t-shirted response of his own.

We were going to turn this little guy into a pair of slippers, that was until he revealed his secret super powers! Throw away that letter opener people, this is the future!

Flle under: Cute as Fuck

Trolling the YouTube universe yesterday, I came across this embarrassing segment in which 80’s icon Mr. T — at the apex of his A-Team-era popularity — waxes on about the importance of confidence, self-expression, and d.i.y. fashion. His stage presence teeters at the intersection of the creepy and the absurd. No doubt about this, this clip is a great way to waste 4 minutes of your life.