Mission to Mars vs The Red Planet

In the year 2000 (cue Conan O’Brien and his floating heads) there was suddenly an interest in being the first studio in a long while to head to our favorite land of little green men, Mars.

Mission To Mars

The first to hit the screens was what I consider the NASCAR of the duo, Mission To Mars. Why you ask? Because I’ve never seen a film shove soooo much advertising down your throat in such an obvious manner (Dr. Pepper actually saves the day at one point.) Mission To Mars was made by Buena Vista…you know, Disney. Yes, they also have a ride at their theme park called that too, surprised? Nah, me neither. Consider this the bigger budget brother to that Steve Guttenberg epic Tower of Terror that came out a while back.

PLOT SHOT: Astronauts go on a mission to save the lone survivor of the first Mars Mission. Things go wrong. Gary Sinise wears too much eye liner and Tim Robbins has one of the most unnecessary deaths on film.

MTM was directed by Brian De Palma of all people (Disney, I’m shocked) and has the dubious honor of being one of the first films I ever laughed out loud at the ending in the theater. If it wasn’t Jerry O’Connell playing with M&M’s in space it was the over acting by Don Cheadle (we’re a long way from that hotel in Rwanda here) and the ending just sort of happens. I’m not sure what Disney and De Palma were trying for in this flick. But with a budget of nearly 100 million dollars you’d think they could have come up with a more convincing alien (which funnily enough wasn’t green).

Red Planet

Released a few months after MTM was Red Planet starring Carrie-Anne Moss in one of her Matrix follow ups. Along with Trinity we had Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, and Benjamin Bratt.

PLOT SHOT: Astronauts go on a mission to see if we can colonize Mars since the Earth is dying. Thing’s go wrong, plus they have a homicidal robot to deal with.

The film is pretty messy in terms of plot. You’ve got a pseudo love story between Moss and Kilmer, in-fighting amongst the crew, and then you’ve got the added bonus of the crazy robot who becomes a stalker. It sort of becomes a mishmash of Armageddon with a dose of Saturn 3. Another fun fact about this is the director, Antony Hoffman, basically quit the film industry after making it. It was his first and only movie, coming from a career as a commercials director. With the budget being 75 million and the return not coming close, that might be a clue as to why.

Neither is a masterpiece, but if you want to spend a night exploring the big red, these two will get you there. And who could hate on seeing Tim Sizemore blowing himself up?

-Jessica Dwyer

Hollywood isn’t exactly original. And sometimes, a couple flicks are released months apart that are eerily similar. Good things come in two’s, if you go by what Hollywood thinks, so hence this column.

It’s happened more than once where studios will piggyback film releases to capitalize on each other. Or maybe it’s just a lack of imagination…who can really say. Be it where the film takes place, the vibe of the movie, and sometimes the entire plot itself…films who are connected enough to be considered siblings spring forth from Hollywood’s womb with astounding regularity.

Movie Pairs will spotlight those occurrences where the dream factory churned out a nearly matching set. We’ll compare their plots and we’ll critique their content. And we’ll most likely make fun of them just because we can. Let’s face it, most times they deserve it.

DVD Pick of the Week: - Phantasm

Horror joy! A scant two weeks after Anchor Bay’s spectacular re-issue of Re-Animator, we get another rare justification for double-dipping from the company with this brand new package of Don Coscarelli’s 1979 horror classic. It’s quite remarkable how, given the many permutations of the horror genre that have developed over the nearly thirty years since Phantasm’s release, that the film remains such a singular creation – so freaky, so surreal, and yet so effective at scaring the pants of virtually everyone. Coscarelli would go on to create some fine work, including the marvelous Bubba Ho-Tep, but his debut wonderwork – a terrific fever dream from a young and ambitious director – remains his best-known achievement.

Following the apparent suicide of their friend, teenaged boys Mike (Michael Baldwin) and Jody (Bill Thornbury) have their curiosities piqued by some strange goings-on that they witness at the dead boy’s funeral. Enter The Tall Man (the mighty Angus Scrimm), an elegantly sinister funeral parlor director who seems to be up to no-good with the bodies of the dead. Things get outright weird at a fast clip, including monumentally disturbing dreams, dwarf henchmen running around and murders committed by, among others, a succubus-like woman in a lavender dress. The more Mike and Jody investigate, the closer they get to the insidious truth about The Tall Man, at which point the film launches into a really remarkable scifi-horror hybrid that captures the imagination as well as chills the bone. Chock full of shocking imagery and damn gnarly special effects for a low-budget production (the film was originally delivered with an X-rating until Coscarelli successfully lobbied for an R).

Phantasm isn’t without its flaws, yet its unique nature and visceral power hold strong even today. Anchor Bay’s new edition sounds grand, including a new commentary with Coscarelli and cast which includes Scrimm himself. (In the previous MGM Video release, we only got a Scrimm introduction. Score!) Deleted scenes, trailers, TV spots and behind the scenes round out the package.

Other recommended titles for March 20th: The Batman: Season 3; Doris Day Collection, Vol. 2

—Nicole Campos

“Sheriff, we got a lot to talk about…”

DVD Pick of the Week - Twin Peaks: Season Two

I don’t know if I’ve ever loved and loathed a recommended pick so equally as I do the second, and final, season of David Lynch and Mark Frost’s milestone series Twin Peaks. Let’s be clear, I’m a huge fan of the show; I don’t share the views of those who found it pretentious and overrated, yet at the same time I don’t universally adore every last freaky frame of it, either. After a strong start following up the short (it was a mid-season replacement) first year, the writers dug themselves a hell of a hole by rushing along plots and constantly attempting to top themselves on weirdness. Resulting, sadly, in a short shelf life for a show which almost single-handedly bridged the gap between 80’s glee and 90’s gloom on the small screen.

As with most fine ensembles, it’s the actors who keep the momentum going even when the scripts begin to wobble; Kyle MacLachlan’s Special Agent Dale Cooper remains one of the most charmingly memorable protagonists in TV history, and the enormous supporting cast always delivers. The first six or seven episodes of Season Two are five-star television. But in retrospect, it was a mistake to satiate a nervous network and rabid fanbase by revealing the central mystery of teen queen Laura Palmer’s murder before the midseason mark. The characters and mythology of the show, had they stuck it out, should have been strong enough to sustain the suspense for some time yet. The failure to supplant the Laura whodunit with something equally intriguing as the season wore on supports this. At first, Cooper being menaced by his psychotic ex-partner Windom Earle seemed promising, but it never quite took root. Meanwhile, far too many new subplots went absolutely nowhere.

And then there’s that finale – Lynch and Frost’s final “f- you” to meddling ABC, an episode as bizarrely obtuse as any of Lynch’s films in which the worst that could happen does and half the cast wind up in never-to-be-resolved cliffhangers. You have to admire the chutzpah, yet on the other hand it’s the sort of unforgivable brush-off of a fan base that gives us geeks our grudges to hold. Me, I’m over it; well, mostly anyway, though that final shot still makes me want to toss a cherry pie at my TV. For all the “Peak”ing that came before, though – and some of it was grand – this is an essential box.

Also recommended this week: All That Jazz: Music Edition; Bedazzled (1967); The Brady Bunch: Complete Series; The Lost Room; Mario Bava Collection, Vol. 1; Mothra Vs. Godzilla; The Natural: Director’s Cut; The Streets of San Francisco, Vol. 1.1; Volver

—Nicole Campos